belly up and frozen peas

so we have had some drama of late. hannah noticed that one of our goldfish (one of two btw) was swimming oddly. like on its side, on its back, rolling at the surface of the water. not good behavior por mi pescado. this went on all day, i watched the tank like a car crash, occasionally hitting the glass to try and correct the problem to no avail. it really just freaked all the fish out, but it got their attention. we had the shutter guy here, the security guy here and they all noticed this deviant behavior and commented on it. the security guy said he had plenty of gold fish that acted like that, and basically that it was just gas and it goes away...... awkward.......
i am willing to believe my fish has gas, so maybe i could help. i told him well may be if i just shook him it would bubble out. i figured this was a bad idea by the look of horror that ran across his face. i laughed, just joking i said.. ha.... haaaa... but????? anyway, so i waited until he left to do it. it didn't work. back to the drawing board. hannah was getting more stressed, i couldn't tear myself away from the tank. it was awful, waiting, watching, floating. it was sad! he was even trying to wiggle his little fish body under the beautiful plastic foliage to keep himself from floating up. sad indeed! david finally couldn't handle his girls acting histrionic any longer and came up with the hero idea to check the internet for a cure! brilliant! i typed "fish keeps floating to surface of the water" stroke of genius, i know. several links popped up titled, "swim bladder disease". it is a result of a bacteria or virus or anatomy and overfeeding. change the water, check, feed less... ok but this is not my fault but check anyway, feed fish a frozen pea... ok next web page, another and another, frozen peas!!! seriously does everyone know this bit of info? but me? we were giving the fish its last rites here so what was there to lose? take one frozen pea, defrost, deskin, chop in fourths and put fish in separate container. it apparently acts like a laxative because with swim bladder diseases they are basically constipated with gas and food and the trapped gas makes them keep floating where they inhale more air... its a vicious sad cycle. we waited with baited breath, he ate most of the pea. waited, ok really we vegged out in front of the tv for like an hour and forgot about it then checked later to find the whole little fish bowl floating with fish poo! i mean like cloudy fish poo major dumping water (no dumping in the water, get it, lol)! i was bummed i missed it, seriously like there had to have been some serious fish constipation grimaces going on. dumb and dumber scene? it was a miracle!!! no floating! he even looked relieved. we put him in the tank and this morning still alive! no floating! so ladies and gents, frozen peas is a miracle cure. question is, how did they figure out that one?

working out is bad for you health

i feel like i have worked out just my neck and back out for a week. my headache borders on annoying after 800mg of ibuprofen, everything is pretty much irritating. but what to expect from a drunk and drugged red light runner who slams in to your car going 50? optimistically it could be worse, i could have accelerated and been crushed, optimistically, i could have gotten out of the car with my 4-inch buck knife and decided that the drunken drugger needs a makeover from hannibal lecter, optimistically, hannah wasn't with me which saved him from years of unproductive, unsatisfactory sex life. hmmmm i could keep going..... but i believe you get the picture. he'll have his day in court, and if i do have to show, well, that will be unfortunate :) i just am not sure how i feel about going to work out in the early hours any longer, the roads are not safe at 5am people! beware! with that said, all you people stop calling me! seriously the phone hasn't stopped ringing from 700am! note:hit by car, severe headache, need to sleep, unwritten law says don't call before 9! oh and hubby if you are reading, thanks for deciding today was the day to try and keep hannah from sesame street. it worked out well wouldn't you say?! (that last part is dripping with sarcasm). tomorrow will be better.